Priest Makes a Deal with Coughing Congregation

1874

The Tablet relates a story of a priest who had a coughing congregation, and who cured them thus: No sooner had he ceased to speak than, singular to relate, one cough after another died out until soon there was absolute silence in the church. Whereupon the father said something to the following effect: "My friends, I know that in this weather colds abound, and therefore it is difficult for you to refrain from coughing. Still it is impossible for me to preach and for you to cough at the same time. Let us come, then, to a mutual agreement, so that you may cough and I may preach without disturbing each other. I will speak say for five or ten minutes at a time; when I raise my handkerchief there will be an interval allowed for coughing. As soon as I let it fall I will resume my sermon, and your silence." The plan succeeded admirably.


Couldn't Blow His Horn in That Church

An organist, for many years engaged in one of the noted churches in this city, tells this:

A strange man was acting as sexton. An old gentleman who was deaf took his seat in a pew, and produced from his pocket an ear-trumpet of curious shape, and to the dismay of the temporary sexton, raised it toward his face. The sexton sprang to his side, and said something in a low voice, whereupon the gentleman endeavored to raise the trumpet to his ear, but was prevented by the sexton seizing his hand. With increasing voice and excitement, he said, "You mustn't, Sir. You mustn't blow that horn in here. If you do, I shall be obliged to put you out!" And the good old man, pocketing the bugle, heard nothing of the service or sermon.