Minister Denounces Secret Marriages

1903

Secret Marriages

Custom Is Denounced by Minister

There seems to be a prevalent and growing custom in some localities for persons who intend to marry to go away from home to a place where they are not known, and, with none of their friends present, to be clandestinely married by some total stranger, who, for a small compensation, is willing to be the instrument of their union, even though he has no assurance that the parties have a right to marry.

Some actually appear to think that they have accomplished a very brilliant maneuver and that they are to be complimented for their smartness in keeping the news from their friends until some time after the event, or until the fact leaks out through the list of marriage licenses granted, which appears in the newspapers.

The time was when a secret marriage was either a direct indication that the consent of the parents had not been obtained, that the parties were under legal age or that there existed some other very good or, we might say, "bad" reason why they should have "loved darkness rather than light."

In the eyes of those who look on such matters in a reverent and sober way, secret marriage is considered to be shameful and improper; yet it is claimed that there are reasons of another and different sort which make secrecy desirable and in some cases almost necessary. It is said that in some communities a "public" marriage, done in a stylish way, is attended by such expense that it is greater than circumstances can afford. Also, that the thoughtless ridicule and horseplay of friends is so unbearable that the only remedy is to escape from them by flight.

The way to correct such a condition is to have the marriage performed in so simple, unobtrusive, modest, and devout a way that the expense is of small consequence and the ignorant lack of consideration and propriety of one's friends is avoided.

As long as the present state of affairs is allowed to continue, when one hears of a secret marriage, while not wishing to be harsh in his judgment, he cannot but feel distrustful of the cause; for, if all was right, the marriage ought to have been done in an open and fearless way. — The Rev. Arthur Gorter in the Living Church.