No Doubt About the Place

1910

The newcomer had just encountered a glaring billboard: "Classic drama at the Plutonian to-night. William Shakespeare in his great creation of Hamlet. Booth and Barrett as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Wagner and Mozart orchestra. Seats free. Everybody welcome."

"Surely this can't be hades, with this great dramatic feast free to all?" he suggested hopefully to a bystander.

"Oh, it's hell, all right," groaned the bystander. "You see, they use a drop curtain depicting sunrise in the Alps surrounded by the names of 14 kinds of whisky and 16 varieties of chewing gum; the local smart set enters during the progress of the second act; the performance is preceded by moving pictures showing a chase after criminals in automobiles; the man behind you has already witnessed the show four times; the ushers sell the complete words and music of the production at ten cents a copy, and the audience invariably demands 'Casey at the Bat.' " — Puck.


Life's Injustice

"What do you think? Mrs. Zizzel, who never goes to church, has won, the first prize in the church lottery?"