This Dominie is A Terror

New York, 1895

A Slungshot in his Sleeve and a Razor Hidden in his Boot.

Edward Hicks, who was arrested for throwing stones at a Long Island railroad train at Wantagh, made a confession when arraigned before Justice Seaman which implicates his father, who is a colored clergyman. The youth said he was forced to throw stones at the train by his father and do other violent things. Last December, he said, his father compelled him to place stones and ties on the railroad tracks to wreck a train. He alleged that the clergyman had stolen a number of articles from the neighbors, and told where they could be found. A search warrant was issued and the stolen property was found under the minister's bed. The old man was arrested and brought into court. When he came to the room the youth shouted: "Look out for him! He's got a knife and razor."

At this point the minister made an attempt to leave the court. He was stopped by officers and searched. A slungshot was found hidden up his sleeve and a razor in his boot. The clergyman carried a large knife in his belt. The preacher was sent to jail to await examination.

The boy, who is 16 years old, was committed to the house of refuge. In making a statement to the justice the clergyman admitted that he had spent two years in prison for bigamy.

Justice Seaman sent Hicks to the county jail for six months.

Note: "Slungshot" is the word used in the article, twice. Original article about Edward Hicks throwing the stones.


Robbed the Charity Boxes

Thieves broke into St. John's Lutheran church at College Point Friday night and robbed the contribution boxes. The boxes were torn from their fastenings.

—The Long Island Farmer, Jamaica, NY, March 8, 1895, p. 1.

Once Enough

1910

"I am not an inquisitive man," said the minister, "but there is one thing I would like to know. Why do people who marry more than once never get the minister who tied the first knot to tie the second or third or fourth?

"I have married enough couples to earn for me the title of marrying parson. Many of those people were prominent enough socially to get their doings recorded in the newspapers and I learn through that medium that a fairly large percentage of them marry again. But they never ask me to officiate.

"Why don't they? Didn't I bring them good luck the first time? Has their experience prejudiced them against me personally, or is there a superstition that prevents a man being married twice by the same minister?

"Even members of my own congregation who marry again seek a strange minister. Why?"

Ministers Aboard Ship

1910

A minister aboard ship has always been taken as a "Jonah sign" by seamen. In recent years, however, this superstition has been modified to a certain extent. A young minister, the seamen believe, will not bring as much of a "Jonah" with him as an old one.


Fate

The feet of Fate are tender, for she sets her steps not on the ground, but on the heads of men. - Homer.

A Sporting Parson

1902

Miss Mary Louise Boyle, who counted Dickens, Lever, Browning, Lowell and Tennyson among her friends, records in her "Book" a story about a sporting parson she knew, the Rev. Loraine Smith, who hunted in purple instead of pink because the former was the correct episcopal color:

"His reverence was always well mounted and was a keen sportsman. He had a pretty living and a good church in the neighborhood, but he surprised his parishioners very much by altering the whole disposition of the tombstones. He thought they looked awkward and untidy in their actual position, so he had them all taken up and rearranged according to his fancy in lines, crosses, squares, etc. One Sunday morning, a very cold winter's day, he had performed the service to a scanty congregation, and on going up into his pulpit, instead of opening his sermon book, he pronounced the following address: 'My dear friends, you require it I will preach you the sermon which I have brought with me, but if you are as cold and hungry as I am I think you will prefer going with me to the rectory, where you will find some cold beef and some good ale.'"

Pastor Stands by Saloonkeepers

1905

Rev. George M. Bock, pastor of a Lutheran church in Mahony City, Pa., has resigned from the Ministerial Association of that city because of some features connected with its war on saloons. The association opposed the granting of a license to a man whose saloon is opposite Mr. Bock's church. The clergyman declares that the man is "a good neighbor" and that his place is "clean, decent, quiet and respectable." Therefore the preacher can not endorse the fight that is being made. He adds: "I have been pastor of the church for the past twelve years and have always endeavored to mind my own business."


True Sayings Indeed

If a man is a coward he always claims to be conservative.

The truth is always the strongest argument. — Sophocles.

Instead of doing things today the wise man did them yesterday.

The boy who ate twenty-nine bananas to win a $1 prize probably needed the money.

Motanic Bad Indian No More

1908

Cayuse Chief Becomes a Christian — Makes Dramatic Confession

Spokane, Washington. — Motanic, bad Indian, terror of the Umatilla reservation southwest of Spokane and leader of pagan customs among the Cayuse braves, has embraced the Christian religion, and, as a consequence, there is rejoicing among the faithful in the Tutilla Presbyterian mission. The conversion of the chieftain was the dramatic climax to the ordination of Rev. Edward Conner, a full-blooded Cayuse, as minister of the gospel a few days ago.

Following the singing of the Cayuse version of "Washed in the Blood of the Lamb," in which braves and squaws joined heartily, Motanic, dressed in barbaric splendor, arose from his seat and, facing the congregation, declared his intention to live a better life. He vowed he would abandon the pagan customs, bid goodbye forever to the feathered headdress and the red and orange paint, to participate no more in the festal parades nor partake of the white man's firewater. He would not steal, gamble or cheat his fellow man or brother. Motanic had become a Christian. It was a fitting close to the ordination of Conner.

At the conclusion of the services which made Conner a full-fledged minister of the gospel there was stillness. Motanic walked to the front of the altar. Tears streamed down his weather-bronzed cheeks and his big frame shook with sobs. He looked neither to the right nor to the left. Motanic confessed his sins to the world and swore allegiance to a new king.

Suddenly a glad note burst from the throat of a little brown woman in the corner. It was the signal for a spontaneous outburst of song from the Indian congregation. Then his faithful squaw went home with the chief.

Is Prophet of The Highest

1908

Qualities That Are the Attribute of the Ideal Minister

As the touch of genius lifts the master above the mere musician, so this sense of the unseen lifts the ideal minister above the mere preacher of sermons. It is the investiture of a priesthood verified not by tradition, but by experience. It is immediacy of access to the eternal fountains of salvation. He lives among men as one of them, simple, unselfish, human, hopeful, yet they know that he walks with God.

"And by the vision splendid
Is on his way attended."

He is a scholar, but criticism has never violated that shrine of the spirit where the pure in heart see God, says a writer in The Atlantic. The unfading newness of everlasting truth gives to his speech the freshness of springtime. The unsearchable mystery of infinite holiness gives to his thought and conduct gravity and reserve, as one who has beheld things which it is not possible for a man to utter. The demands of social service have not stamped him with the professionalism of a reformer. The ardor of churchmanship has not made him an ecclesiastic. He remains a prophet of the highest. When he speaks men feel that he is standing on holy ground. When he prays men perceive that he is prostrating himself before the risen Christ.


Thoughts

No man ever succeeded in walking one way when he was looking another.

Beware of the man whose own dog will not trust him.

Ministers Protest Against Street Fair

May 1906

Alton, Illinois — The Alton ministerial alliance yesterday protested to the city council against the holding of a street fair in the city, and denounced such exhibitions as immoral in their tendency and opposed to the legitimate interests of the city according to the effects of former street fairs held in Alton.

The Roman Catholic clergy have united in condemning the proposed fair and it is probable that none will be held. The clergymen also decided to begin a campaign in the interests of improving public morals in Alton, and will hold several mass meetings during the summer.

—The Daily Review, Decatur, IL, May 15, 1906, p. 9.

Men Object to "Sissy" Religion, BISHOP SAYS

1907

Men Object to "Sissy" Religion

By Bishop WARREN CANDLER of the Methodist Episcopal Church South

A "SISSY" RELIGION DELIVERED BY A "SISSY" PREACHER IS DRIVING MEN FROM THE CHURCH. NO WONDER THE MEN DON'T GO TO CHURCH WHEN THEY ARE FORCED TO LISTEN TO A LOT OF "SISSY" TALK. THERE IS TOO MUCH OF THIS EFFEMINATE RELIGION.

I have often thought. What does the average man think of this EFFEMINATE RELIGION AND DAINTY LULLABIES? I don't mind telling you what I often do when I go to a church like that. I get into some comfortable place and GO TO SLEEP. When a man trifles with religion it's a good thing to do. BUT YOU MUSTN'T SNORE.

There must be virility in religion if the men are to be held.

—Indiana Evening Gazette, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Dec. 28, 1907, p. 2.

Note: Another editorial on the same page had a lot of strange capitalization, too. So it might not have been the Bishop's style but the editor's for emphasis.

Brands Higher Critics of The Bible as Judases

1907

Minister Attacks Biblical World and Professors Are Scored

St. Louis, Nov. 13.— At yesterday's session of the Bible League of North America meeting the conference's 13-inch theological guns were turned upon the Biblical World, one of the official publications of the University of Chicago. The indignation of the conference was aroused by the publication recently of an editorial in this magazine, in which the second advent of Christ was derided and the resurrection of Jesus denied.

The chief address of the day was made by Rev. W. M. McPheeters, D.D., instructor in the Southern Presbyterian Theological seminary at Columbia S.C. His subject was "Has the Influence of Radical Criticism Been Wholly to the Advantage of Religion and the Bible?"

This question the minister answered with an emphatic and indignant negative.

Criticism Kiss of Judas.

"Higher criticism is not the Roman's spear," said he, "which pierced the side of the Lord. It is rather the kiss of Judas, which, under the pretense of friendliness, aims at the destruction of religion. We, the adherents of literal faith in every work of holy writ, are contending today for the altar and the hearthstone.

"Radical criticism, such as that voiced by the University of Chicago proposes a complete change from Christianity to infidelity. It not only presumes to modify, but even, on occasions, rejects the truth taught by Christ, such as his resurrection and second advent.

"There are a few ambitious young men at the university, who, impatient of obscurity and meager pay, think to procure themselves better positions by attracting publicity. This aim they can accomplish best by sensational attacks upon what is holy.

"The editorial says that the expectation of Christ's second coming is based not on the historical but the imaginative portions of the Bible. But the second advent is mentioned in the Acts, a historical book. It is estimated that every twenty-fifth verse of the Old Testament refers to the second coming of the Messiah."

Uses Sarcasm as Weapon.

A paper satirizing the methods of higher criticism, by one of the ministers present, was read at the morning session by Rev. P. V. Genness. The author, by adopting the reasoning as he understood it, of the higher critics, sarcastically proved that the Declaration of Independence was not written until after the civil war.

Rev. Dr. C. J. Scofield, of the First Congregational church, Dallas, Texas, said that the beliefs expressed by the Biblical World, if generally adopted, would work the subversion of all religion.

"These young professors, said he, "have almost reached the point where they consider the Bible not a divine, but merely a human document."

The motto of the Bible League of America is "Back to the Bible." Its purpose is to renew faith in both testaments and to oppose the inroads of higher criticism.

—Fort Wayne Sentinel, Fort Wayne, IN, Nov. 13, 1907, p. 5.

Treasurer Kept Church Funds in Barrel, Now Missing

Ohio, 1901

Church Money Lost

Wooster, O., Jan. 30.—Hugh Howey, a farmer in Congress township, treasurer of his church, kept the church funds and some of his own in a pocketbook concealed in an ash barrel for safekeeping. Tuesday an installment of the minister's salary was due and Howey went to get the funds. Of the pocketbook only a metal clasp was left and of $122 only small amount of coin. Some one had put ashes in the barrel without pouring water on them.

—Newark Daily Advocate, Newark, Ohio, January 30, 1901, page 1.

Of Heresy, Tobacco Chewing, Life Insurance, and $10 A Week

Ohio, 1907

With the East Ohio conference of the Methodist church in session at Cleveland, investigating charges of immorality against one minister, lying, defamation of character and tobacco chewing against another and heresy against a third it is mighty difficult to discover any adequate reports in the Cleveland newspapers as to what the other Methodist conference, the North Ohio, also in session in Cleveland, is doing.

* * *

Zion City, founded by Dowie as the home of the religious cult he established, is to have a race-track and the once holy city is to resound with the names of turf favorites.

* * *

But if, as he declares, the Rev. Dr. King of Uhrichsville, accused of chewing tobacco, has only been chewing licorice, why should he spit out the juice? Our recollection of licorice eating or chewing is that the juice was what was wanted. Else, how would one know he was chewing licorice?

* * *

The Rev. E. N. Middleton has resigned the pastorate of the Tioga (Pa.) Reformed church, where he has been getting $10 a week. "My course is one of absolute necessity," he says. "In an effort to stay here, where sentiment and the spirit of association have so strong a claim upon me, I have even gone to the extent of allowing my life insurance to lapse, thus exposing my wife and baby to dangers which no one could measure. These things I have done in spite of God's teaching that he who fails to protect his family is worse than an infidel. But all my efforts served only to postpone the step I have now taken. Sentiment should always be carefully cherished, but it does not put food on the table."

* * *

Now there is something in that worthy of consideration. The mass of people are very prone to attribute mercenary motives to the minister who accepts a call involving a higher salary. At best the salary of a minister is not high, considering the manner in which he is expected to live, and if one can better himself he has a right to do so and should do so. The cost of living has no sentiment. A minister cannot keep a family properly and educate his children on poor pay. He is entitled to his hire according to his abilities. If one congregation will not pay for what he is worth he should go to another which will. When we see this idea clearly there will be less adverse criticism of the preacher who betters himself by a good call.

* * *

But isn't there something wrong with the minister, who has a family, and preaches for $10 a week, when common day labor brings better compensation? He must have more religion than industry and possibly the minister content with such salary draws more than he is worth.

* * *

—The Mansfield News, Mansfield, Ohio, September 13, 1907, page 4.

Topeka Minister's Prayer: Kill or Convert Mayor

1903

SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT

Chicago Record-Herald: A Topeka minister recently prayed that the mayor of that town might either be converted or killed, as the Lord might see fit. It is always well to give the Lord a choice in these matters.

Washington Post: The Americans who are engaged in manufacturing idols for Korea have no objections whatever to our sending missionaries to that country, as they claim they do not injure the idol business the least bit And this a cold-blooded commercial view of the missionary business.

Baltimore American: A Chicago minister preaching on pride, exhibited a dollar and said he would give it to anyone whose pride would allow him or her to admit it was needed. To his surprise it was claimed promptly. This is a business age, and the times are too busy to dally with sentiment when cash is in sight.

Chicago Post: The Methodists propose to issue a "secular" paper that will have no sporting news. Presumably, and for the same broad and intelligent reason, it will also be shy a dramatic department. Yet there are sports and sports; there are plays and plays. Clean, wholesome, unmercenary sport, the sort that makes men and women with red blood and buoyant spirits, is as essential to our everyday life and to our well being as is the gospel or the pulpit. A secular newspaper without news of such sports and pastimes will leave something sadly wanting even to the majority of Methodists.

Milwaukee Free Press: Another reason why the Episcopalians should think at least once more before changing their name to American Catholic is that the word "Catholic" is likely to be overworked. "Dr." Dowie, sometimes called Elijah II, adopted it as the name of his "church" some years ago, and has that much priority of claim — if any sect or individual has any claim to it; for there was another church with something of a claim, reaching far back. Three distinctive "Catholic" churches are too many. They would be the Catholic, or the Roman Catholic, the Christian Catholic, and the American Catholic.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, Iowa, March 5, 1903, page 4.

The "Good Indian"

Nebraska, 1903

At the time that Little Bear, the Sioux Indian, was executed for the murder of two companions, his body was brought back from Sioux Falls by a deputy marshal, relates the Omaha Excelsior.

The marshal was well known to everybody up near Niobrara, and at the train several spoke to him, and it was soon noised about that he was in charge of the "dead Indian" in the baggage car. But the unfortunate redskin had had another companion in his last moments and who had promised to follow him to his last resting place, a man of the same Sioux nation, though of another tribe, the Rev. William Holmes, an ordained priest of the Episcopal church.

He had heard of the plight of Little Bear, who was singing his death song alone in his cell at Sioux Falls, and resolved to go to him, to extend to him the comforts of religion and to do all in his power to bring him to a sense of his crime, for Little Bear insisted he was only meting out Indian justice to those he had killed in old Indian fashion. Mr. Holmes converted Little Bear and baptized him.

The marshal and the Indian minister and Bishop Williams, of Omaha, were seated together in the smoker when the train stopped at Creighton, and a bluff and hearty cattleman entered, and, seeing the marshal, but not noticing Mr. Holmes, cried out:

"Hello, marshal. I hear you have a good Indian with you today," referring, of course, to the old adage that the only good Indian is a dead one.

Quick as a flash the marshal jumped to his feet and said, to avoid mortification of his friend, the dark-skinned minister:

"To be sure I have — let me present you to him — the Rev. William Holmes, of the Episcopal church, and Bishop Williams, of Omaha!"

The bluffness all died out of the stranger and he sank into the vacant seat offered him without a word.

But Bishop Williams says there was a very merry twinkle in the eye of the "good Indian."

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, Iowa, March 4, 1903, page 5.