1910
"I never discuss marriage," said the late Gen. Fitzhugh Lee, to the Womans' Companion, "without thinking of an old colored preacher in my state who was addressing his dark-skinned congregation, when a white man rose in the back of the building."
"Mr. Preacher," said the white man.
"Sir to you," said the parson.
"Mr. Preacher, you are talking about Cain, and you say he got married in the land of Nod, after he killed Abel. But the Bible only mentions Adam and Eve as being on the earth at that time. Who, then, did Cain marry?"
The colored preacher snorted with unfeigned contempt.
"Huh!" he said. "You hear dat, brederen an' sisters? You hear dat fool question I am axed? Cain, he went to de land o' Nod, just as de Good Book tells us, an' in de land of Nod Cain gits so lazy an' so shiftless dat he up an' marries a gal o' one o' dem no 'count white trash families dat de inspired apostle didn't consider fittin' to mention in de Holy Word."
—Amador Ledger, Jackson, CA, Dec. 30, 1910, p. 2.
Showing posts with label dialect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dialect. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Amos Boggs Judges Poor Sermon
1900
Mr. Amos Boggs had his own ideas as to what constituted a good sermon. When he was asked his opinion of the learned discourse given by a clergyman from the city, who was spending a few days in Shawville, he stroked his beard and replied:
"If there was anybody there that calc'lated to find out the ro'd to Heaven, they'd have been a mite disappointed, I reckon," he said, slowly; "but if they wanted to know how to get from Egypt to Jericho and back, they'd have found out. It jest depends."
Real Work Ethic
"When I have nothing to do I work," said Professor Max-Muller recently. A finer expression of the same thought comes from a humble old Scotchman, whose death is described in "Village Notes."
He was speaking his last homely words of advice. "Jock," said he, "when ye hae naething else to do ye may be aye sticking in a tree. It will growing, Jock, when ye're sleeping."
Mr. Amos Boggs had his own ideas as to what constituted a good sermon. When he was asked his opinion of the learned discourse given by a clergyman from the city, who was spending a few days in Shawville, he stroked his beard and replied:
"If there was anybody there that calc'lated to find out the ro'd to Heaven, they'd have been a mite disappointed, I reckon," he said, slowly; "but if they wanted to know how to get from Egypt to Jericho and back, they'd have found out. It jest depends."
Real Work Ethic
"When I have nothing to do I work," said Professor Max-Muller recently. A finer expression of the same thought comes from a humble old Scotchman, whose death is described in "Village Notes."
He was speaking his last homely words of advice. "Jock," said he, "when ye hae naething else to do ye may be aye sticking in a tree. It will growing, Jock, when ye're sleeping."
Saturday, June 16, 2007
A Minister's Experience of Big Explosion
1900
Rev. Dr. Luther's Thrilling Story of New York's Big Explosion
Rev. Dr. Luther of the Wilson Memorial chapel, Forty-second street and Tenth avenue, was a block away when the explosion which destroyed Tarrant's drug house in New York occurred. In stopping one of many stampeded horses he was kicked in the head, sustaining a scalp wound.
"My experience," said Dr. Luther to a reporter of the New York World, "was one which I shall never forget. Just before the great explosion came I had been directly opposite the burning building. Had I remained there a minute longer I surely would have been killed. When I first arrived on the scene, there was a dense black smoke pouring out of the windows. I saw men and women assisted out of the building by the firemen. Then there was an unusual noise, which emanated from the interior of the building. White smoke began to pour out.
"As I looked up I saw a man appear at an upper window. His face expressed both agony and fear. The smoke almost shut him out from the view of the people in the street below. 'Go up to the roof. For God's sake go up to the roof!' the crowd shouted to him. The man appeared to be bewildered. I saw him step back from the window. We never saw him after that. A moment later there followed the great explosion which brought the entire building to the ground.
"Before the first explosion the people in the street pushed up toward the burning building in order to get a better view of it. After the first explosion there was a mad rush to get out of the way, and the rush turned into a regular stampede when the second explosion occurred.
"It seemed to me," continued Dr. Luther, "as though the entire building was carried up into the air, only to be thrown down again with all the more force and to be broken into thousands of fragments, carrying death and destruction in its wake. There was a slight sound before the explosion, and then there were a flash and a noise that shook the ground upon which I was standing. The crowd stampeded down the street. Women and men fell over one another, and to add to the excitement and confusion the truck horses stampeded. There were at least 20 runaways at one time. Many of the horses had feed bags over their heads.
"At Greenwich street there was the wildest confusion. Men and women were piled up in heaps, and others crawled over them in their anxiety to reach a place of safety. Many horses had fallen, and they blocked the avenues of escape. I tried to get to one of the horses that had fallen, but was uninjured. I made an effort to get him on his feet, but could not. Fearing that there might be still more explosions. I hurried away and went to John Street church, where I was originally bound for, and gave thanks to God for my deliverance."
Scotch Divine
A Scotch divine took one of his parishioners to task for his non-attendance at kirk; the man said: "I dinna like lang sermons." The parson, with some wrath, replied: "John, ye'll dee, and go to a place where ye'll not have the privilege of hearing long or short sermons." "That may be," said John, "but it winna be for lack of parsons."
Rev. Dr. Luther's Thrilling Story of New York's Big Explosion
Rev. Dr. Luther of the Wilson Memorial chapel, Forty-second street and Tenth avenue, was a block away when the explosion which destroyed Tarrant's drug house in New York occurred. In stopping one of many stampeded horses he was kicked in the head, sustaining a scalp wound.
"My experience," said Dr. Luther to a reporter of the New York World, "was one which I shall never forget. Just before the great explosion came I had been directly opposite the burning building. Had I remained there a minute longer I surely would have been killed. When I first arrived on the scene, there was a dense black smoke pouring out of the windows. I saw men and women assisted out of the building by the firemen. Then there was an unusual noise, which emanated from the interior of the building. White smoke began to pour out.
"As I looked up I saw a man appear at an upper window. His face expressed both agony and fear. The smoke almost shut him out from the view of the people in the street below. 'Go up to the roof. For God's sake go up to the roof!' the crowd shouted to him. The man appeared to be bewildered. I saw him step back from the window. We never saw him after that. A moment later there followed the great explosion which brought the entire building to the ground.
"Before the first explosion the people in the street pushed up toward the burning building in order to get a better view of it. After the first explosion there was a mad rush to get out of the way, and the rush turned into a regular stampede when the second explosion occurred.
"It seemed to me," continued Dr. Luther, "as though the entire building was carried up into the air, only to be thrown down again with all the more force and to be broken into thousands of fragments, carrying death and destruction in its wake. There was a slight sound before the explosion, and then there were a flash and a noise that shook the ground upon which I was standing. The crowd stampeded down the street. Women and men fell over one another, and to add to the excitement and confusion the truck horses stampeded. There were at least 20 runaways at one time. Many of the horses had feed bags over their heads.
"At Greenwich street there was the wildest confusion. Men and women were piled up in heaps, and others crawled over them in their anxiety to reach a place of safety. Many horses had fallen, and they blocked the avenues of escape. I tried to get to one of the horses that had fallen, but was uninjured. I made an effort to get him on his feet, but could not. Fearing that there might be still more explosions. I hurried away and went to John Street church, where I was originally bound for, and gave thanks to God for my deliverance."
Scotch Divine
A Scotch divine took one of his parishioners to task for his non-attendance at kirk; the man said: "I dinna like lang sermons." The parson, with some wrath, replied: "John, ye'll dee, and go to a place where ye'll not have the privilege of hearing long or short sermons." "That may be," said John, "but it winna be for lack of parsons."
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